Somehow this is what most people mean when they say “individuality” - they mean the feeling of power that comes from being a consumer and being able to leverage money into choices of what kind of thing to buy based on who you want to fit in with and what idealized media-driven image of perfection you’re trying to artificially set your life according to.

I can't help but smile at the fellow driving along next to me on the Old Santa Fe Trail road in his brand spanking new Smart Car, complete with temporary tags. He shoots me a big smile back. I'm surprised there aren't any accidents with all of the gandering he's basking in on this rush hour morning.

Those little things are darned cute. And the drivers of them look so ... well ... smart.

Now don't get mad at me and send me ugly emails, but I feel rather indulgent towards the Smart Car folks. I have a soft spot for cones and geeks and the fellows with pocket protectors. They don't give me that righteous vibe I get from the Prius drivers, although I think Prius drivers are certainly smart because they're saving money on gas too, getting something like 50 MPG, if I'm correct, and who's not for that?

As for Saving The Environment by driving a Prius--which here in uber trendy, ultra liberal, tree- and bunny- (not to mention rodent-, yes, prairie dogs are rodents, out of which possibly hats could be made) hugging Santa Fe seems to be what the Prius vibe is all about-- well, I'm not sure about that.

I've pretty much gotten over the sale of my gas guzzling hog of an SUV. My beloved Tahoe that simply carried me down the road like a queen and was recently called a dinosaur by a salesman in a fluffy white shirt at the Toyota dealership as we were talking trade-in. And now I'm zipping around in my Honda Civic to the tune of 40+ MPG on the highway. Feeling positively ... zippy, she says through gritted teeth. But face it, I don't look nearly as brainy as my Smart Car and Prius counterparts. No one is grinning indulgently at me or my other Civic bretheren while I'm driving around. I doubt anyone's thinking I'm an individual whose particularly smart because of my choice of transportation.

No sireee.

The admittedly adorable Smart Car seats two, and looks more dangerous to me than my motorcycle (although maybe if I wore a full-faced helmet and some body armor I'd feel better about the Smart Car ...) and delivers 33 mpg in the city and 40 mpg on the highway, according to 2008 EPA standards. I don't know where I'd put my kids or that 55-pound bag of feed that actually fits into the trunk in my Civic.

As for the Prius, Jack Bauer is worried that the technology's not quite where it should be, and given that I put 100 miles a day on an automobile during the week, the battery will wear out and need to be replaced to the tune of whatever gasoline savings I would have accrued and then some. And I too am privy to the scuttlebutt -- that it's more environmentally detrimental to produce a Prius than a big hawg of a Hummer. Something to do with the nickel in the battery used to power the thing. According to some (I was surprised at the Google results), the environmental cost of producing that battery is pretty high.

I'm not disparaging hybrids, not by any means. When hybrid technology is where Jack Bauer and I are comfortable with it, then sign us up. Heck, we'll take two. (Although I don't think The Messiah--who as National Review Online Economics Editor Larry Kudlow writes is "opposed to drilling, opposed to nuclear, opposed to coal" and seems to think that we can solve our problems with wind and sails--has yet figured out that electricity has to be generated. He'll have us all pedaling to work soon. Maybe three or four of us piled up on one scooter while wearing government mandated safety gear.)

It's theater.

Of the righteous variety.

Illustration which accompanied the Wilamette Week's endorsement of Barack Obama. Without a doubt, the silliest political poster I have ever seen. See this website for more iconography. What's up with the white horse? Reminds me of our Andalusian horse Caprichosa. Is there an Andalusian/Atlantis connection going on here??? Oh, I get it. Barack's from the lost city!

We're not trying to disparage hybrids in response to environmentalists' demonization of SUVs. Consumers should be free to drive whatever they want. We're merely providing some little-known facts — and wondering just what other 'green' alternatives being pushed on the public are not so green after all.

For some real theater, check out this bad boy--55 MPG and truly righteous. Although, I must admit, I like riding a horse best.