And now we turn to ...

anthropology.

These are my findings from spending approximately an hour on the ever trendy Santa Fe Plaza recently, specifically in search of a warm pair of black (they absolutely positively had to be black) UGG boots. I cited several Santa Fe Poodles during my exploration.

Santa Fe Poodle. (Poodilus Santafeus)

Common characteristics.
The Santa Fe Poodle tends to be relatively mobile or "nomadic", given her reliance upon the ability of a given natural environment to provide the most trendy and expensive Southwestern jewelery and apparel in order to sustain her craving for Squash Blossom Necklaces and the biggest turquoise concho belts money can buy and the variable availability of these resources owing to local climatic and seasonal conditions. (See the Santa Fe Indian Market.)

Habitat and Population
While she may live in Santa Fe (often in her Santa-Fe-Style-on-Steroids vacation/second home), the Santa Fe Poodle often has her origins in New York City, Dallas Fort Worth, or California. Upon arriving to the high desert, she displays an insatiable desire for all things silver and turquoise, native american and cowboy, although it's likely she's never once been near a horse and possibly has never seen a cowboy or a native american.

It's difficult to ascertain the exact population of Poodilus Santafeus in the region, because after a while they all begin to look the same, at least to this anthropologist. The Santa Fe Poodle is literally dripping with Zuni and Navajo jewelry, possibly with some big Egyptian pieces thrown in for good measure. Beneath that raffia er ... cowboy ... hat, one can barely see her face. The most distincitve feature of the poodle is her noise. She rattles and clangs like one of those African native women who wears all of her wealth on her body at once, in a display of some form of tribal personal banking.

Outlook for the Species
As long as there are gallery openings with free champagne and overpriced jewelery stores who will cater to her, the outlook is good for Poodilus Santafeus. It should be noted that her choice of a desert habitat is not by chance. You see, it is imperative that the poodle avoid the water. At all costs. Her deeply ingrained fear has been observed at several social events over the years where no poodles or wannabes were cited near the in-ground swimming pool.

This anthropologist has often thought to herself (and grinned wickedly while doing so) that the fully outfitted Santa Fe Poodle, with the ten, heavy, six-inch-square conchos lashed around her waist on a leather belt like some medieval corset or device of torture, along with that other bright mess of metal and stone with which she is compelled to decorate every square inch of her person, could be in the same peril around almost any body of water as those knights she read about in high school history class.

You know, the ones who drowned at the bottom of the castle moat because of the sheer weight of their armor.