My five African geese love the snow. And I believe they are impervious to the cold. Maybe it's all that venom and bile and downright goose meanness that wards off the chill.

On a cold day like today, I start thinking about all of the goose down things I own. We all sleep on goose down feather beds. We sleep beneath goose down duvets. There are more than a few goose down coats hanging in our closets. And, oh my lord, I believe our pillows are even chock-full of goose feathers.

Just don't let my pack (forget the word flock) of charming pets get wind of that one, or Heaven knows what they might do me.

Their feathers do look pretty dapper against all that fresh white snow, don't they?