The Jane West Chronicles
Late 1970s. What some women might have actually been overheard to say ... or possibly may have said to the author directly ... although wild horses couldn't begin to drag the details out of me. In fact, to simplify, let's just say this is a work of fiction and that names have been changed to protect the innocent. (Thank you, Josie, Jane, and Thunder the horse, for acting out this little drama for us.)
Josie West: Hey Jane, got any advice for a smart young gal who's just about ready to head off into the Wild Wild West?
Jane West: Ummmmm, let me see ...
According to the Jane West Equipment Manual here, there are a couple a things.
- Don't let your nose get shiny out on the trail. A soft matte complexion is preferable.
- Note that the lipstick and blush provided herein just fit into your Authentic Cowgirl Equipment saddle bags.
- If you still insist on playing on the jungle gym on the playground, you'll have to wear shorts underneath that skirt, young lady.
- They say that riding a horse is an excellent way to maintain a trim figure.
And ...
There's something here in the small writing. I'm having kind of a hard time reading it. (Dumb bast- bunnies over at Marx Toys mustn't of thought I'd ever reach middle-age. There's not one pair of reading glasses in this box.)
OK.
Listen up, now, because this is real important. It says here—
"Don't give away the cream, or no one will ever Buy. The. Cow."
Thunder the horse: That's just sheer genius advice there, Jane. A real self-esteem booster.
Got any moo....rrrrr ?
(Saddle up and ride away, Josie West. Ride away!)
