Renee writes, “The other night I was sitting @ the computer, just working away straining my eyes and carpal tunneling my right hand as usual, when all of a sudden the weight of the flab just settled around me, like a house settling into it's foundation.”

I really feel what she says, and it doesn’t feel good at all. In fact, it feels awful. But how many of us do feel that way more often than not, I wonder?

This is a tough culture for women. I hear it in Renee’s words. It is echoed in the words of my women friends when they tell me how fat they are, when they are not. There are some pretty unrealistic expectations about how we are supposed to look. As a lifetime equestrian, I’m a reasonably fit woman, but I sure don’t look like one of those women on the front of Shape magazine. Most of us mere mortal women don’t, and never will.

By maintaining a healthy weight, there’s no doubt that we’ll feel better, live longer, have a higher quality of life. Those are all good things I'd like to have. As a horsewoman, having a healthy body enables me to ride and take care of a barn full of horses at home. And, in fact, the day-to-day tasks of taking care of my horses help to keep me in better shape. The fitness experts are correct in encouraging us to stay healthy by doing activities that we enjoy.

I think that as we strive for healthier bodies and take care of ourselves, maybe instead of weighing ourselves, calculating our body fat percentages, fretting over a piece of cake, or worrying about whether we’re meeting those unrealistic cultural expectations, we should take a break and ask ourselves—

How do I feel?

Answering this question requires a shift in my focus. Admittedly, that takes some effort because of the cultural conditioning involved. It’s a matter of looking inside instead of outside. It’s also involves being kinder to myself. And it gives me permission to revel in the day-to-day.

Let’s see …

I know I feel great when I take a long walk. Doing a few yoga stretches in the morning before I begin my day makes all the difference in my outlook. It feels excellent to keep up with my 8-year-old son when we hike to the top of the mesa. (Even if I am a little breathless.) I can boost my 60-lb daughter up into the saddle, no problem. I can lift bales of hay. Push a wheelbarrow full of horse manure. (Oh joy...) I feel wonderful when I can work with my horses and use my body to communicate with them. Although it may not be the most elegant mount at a canter, I can vault onto our vaulting horse the majority of the time! I admit that I feel a sense of accomplishment when I climb up onto the back of my 17+ hand Percheron, not by any means an effortless feat for me. I had to run that big fellow down the other day when he escaped from the pasture. I’m no runner, but I did OK. A bucketful of oats helped.

When I am aware of how good I feel vs. what the scales say as I try to maintain a moderately active and healthy lifestyle, I stop fretting so much because I can pinch an inch (or more!). I try not to allow it to become a barometer for how I feel about myself. That’s my challenge. And in this culture, it’s a big one.

I’m giving myself a break. I hope you will too. I’d rather revel than fret any day.

I’m going to enjoy my horses.

Flickr photo credits: Eda Cherry; northern girl; marenB